The Gentleman’s predictions for 2017

How time flies. This time last year, Britain hadn’t voted for Brexit, tens of beloved celebrities were still alive, Brangelina were still together and Donald Trump wasn’t heading for the White House with the certainty and unavoidable force of a wrecking ball.

But here we are, 2017. We made it – no matter how painful it was to drag ourselves threw the few final months of last year. And surely only a brighter future can lie ahead?

Last year, Gentleman’s Journal went all Nostradamus and tried to prophesy what 2016 would bring. And boy, were we way off on some of our predictions. But we’ve learned from our mistakes, taken the last disastrous twelve months into account, and had another go. So here’s what we’re sure the next 365 days will bring.

When, several summers ago, seemingly every British man’s face sprung a beard, social commentators and grooming gurus called it a flash in the pan. ‘A fad!’, ‘A phase!’, they cried of the trend that endures to this day.

But we at the Journal see the end in sight. We predict that 2017 will be the year that men finally reach for their razors, and symbolically shave off their increasingly unsightly beards to distance themselves from 2016 and start afresh. And while this may get the whiskers of beard oil start-ups in a tangle, Gillette’ll likely end the year on a high.

From smooth chins to smooth gin. In late December 2016, news broke that UK sales of gin were set to outstrip those of whisky by the time 2020 rolls around. And, whilst the end of the decade is still a couple of years away, with the number of urban gin distilleries and craft spirit start-ups springing up around Britain, we forecast that gin’s star will rise this summer.

Beer gardens will be awash with this clear juniper spirit, and long hazy evenings will be spent in the company of tonic and cucumber. Invest early gentleman, gin is in.

Among our predictions last year, one of the most misjudged was that ‘Donald Trump’s Presidential hopes will fall flat.’ With the businessman now barrelling towards his inauguration, we expect a lot of things will change this year, but the building of a wall won’t be one of them.

One of Trump’s key chants at his rallies – alongside ‘Lock her up!’ and ‘Drain the swamp!’ – was ‘Build the wall!’, a reference to the Republican’s desire to erect a wall along the USA’s southern border, but to get Mexico to pay for it. Sorry Donald, we don’t see it materialising.

Speaking of Trump, the new President’s new best friend, Nigel Farage, will likely be spending a lot more time in the limelight. Despite fading out of the British conscience quicker than Marty McFly faded out of that photograph in Back to the Future, Farage has struck up quite the unlikely following across the pond.

Staggeringly, a recent survey suggested that a considerable number of Americans believe Farage is our current Prime Minister due to his exposure on the world stage – so expect Trump to capitalise on his strongest link with Britain, and put Nigel Farage to good – and public – use in the year to come.

With Google launching the Pixel smartphone, and Apple’s iPhones just getting better and bigger as their iterations rumble on, Samsung are swiftly falling by the wayside – not only are they slipping off road, they’ve cut their own brakes and are veering headlong into a ditch.

With last year’s overheating and spontaneous combustion debacle, nobody is buying Samsung phones. Even though it is only the Galaxy Note 7 that seems to be affected, consumers are steering clear of the company as a whole. And rightly so – since the end of 2016, most airlines have started banning Samsung smartphones on their flights due to the threat of danger.

It may not be very gentlemanly, but we expect everyone’s least favourite reality couple will finally call it quits in 2017. With false rumbles, suspicious burglaries and a lot of questionable fashion choices, two personalities as big as these can only continue living in relative harmony for so long.

In slightly more genteel relationship news, we believe that the Royal Family will get one more addition in 2017. Taking their relationship public in 2016, Prince Harry and actress Meghan Markle made the unprecedented move of issuing an official statement confirming the relationship.

How much longer until Harry gets down on one knee, and is engaged to be wed?

With the follow up to 2015’s $2 billion smash The Force Awakens being released in December, we think it’s a pretty safe bet that Star Wars will, once again, reign supreme at the box office.

Starring the late Carrie Fisher, Adam Driver, Daisy Ridley and John Boyega, the sequel also sees the return of Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker – whose sparing use in the previous picture will surely tempt cinema-goers back to the big screen for Episode VIII.

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